I’m feeling so emotionally drained right now I can’t even describe it. I’ve only felt this wiped out a few times in my life.
Missio Dei is set to close on a second community house tomorrow (July 23), but the lender (the Mennonite Church Extension Service) is dragging its feet on an issue that I can’t resolve. They basically want something from the city in writing that says we can use the space as we intend. Why is this so hard to get? Because when you are already intending to use the space as intented by city zoning laws, the city isn’t going to issue a formal declaration that they’re ok with you using the space as intended. It is simply assumed.
So we may not close tomorrow because the MCES wants proof that can’t be secured. And that would basically destroy our plans. We already had folks ready to move into that new space, so now–if this doesn’t go through–we’ll basically be in a place where we have to turn folks away (potential members and interns). It would stiffle a lot of the momentum we have building.
Meanwhile, I’m feeling the personal pinch. Fundraising hasn’t produced enough for me to live on (we’ve been in that boat for 4 years). And so, if we can’t figure somethign out with fundraising (or getting some sort of potential job networking emerging Anabaptist leaders to help them plant churches or network with other existing communities), then I’ll have to go get a normal job.
I’m ok with working a real job. I’ve done it before. It is a reassuring and stable place to be. But if I did go work a regular part time or full time job, I’d have to put Submergent stuff (which despite the relative quiet on the website is something that is begining to pick up some real steam), Jesus Manifesto stuff, and my speaking engagements (something I thoroughly enjoy and get to do more and more) on hold. Not to mention my book project (that is already on hold because I had a baby).
I feel like I’m on the brink. I’m not sure it is the brink of something amazing or something else. Please pray. People have told me that I’m one of the most tenacious people they know. They also have told me that I’m one of the most creative people they know. I’ve even been called an organizational genious by someone I highly respect. But right now, I feel wiped out, uncreative, and organizationally comatose. None of those things are helping me pay the bills.
If any of you have any ideas or advice, I’d love to hear them.
I’ll keep you in my prayers, Mark. These difficult times gives us strength to continue on the journey God has put us on.
perhaps you cd get a temporary job with the Obama/DFL campaign working to get out the vote in your area?
That wd be a stop-gap. Couple that with some time for intensive prayer and God will provide!
dlw
Thanks Natanael.
That’s a great idea dlw…you know what an Obama supporter I am!
I´ll pray, Mark. May God grant you God´s wisdom and the leading of the Spirit. Peace to you! I appreciate your work.
I’d do something that cross-pollinates what you’re already doing, but brings in money. Work with the socially excluded is the obvious, and rewarding option.
Hey Mark!
Brother, I can totally relate to what you write - I have often felt this way, especially this year. My prayers are with you guys an the family.
I would ask that you also keep my family and the work we are doing in our community in your prayers too. While not anything to write about per se, we are changing lives and so, yeah I relate to the job idea, as I was retrenched from a Christian trainign org earlier this year and still can’t find a part-time job to fill the gaps!
I know this a day late - so congrats on the settlement mate - I pray the rollwercoater is settling down for now! (Parenthood movie wise!)
Shalom from Down Under!